One Failed Life

I do not know exactly. I do not want to judge. Correct me if I’m wrong but a life that stops abruptly by suicide, taking an amount of 149 other lifes as a sacrifice – that life I dare to call a FAILED one.

Andreas Lubitz has had to kill himself due to an outrage of despair. Has had to kill himself due to complete lack of counseling, due to lack of any way out of the diseases he had found himself in. We do see the surface of it: depressions. We do have the diagnosis of clinic psychiatrists. Depressions.

At the end of the day we DO know that there’s a second level beneath the first one. The second level isn’t easy to access. So it’s plain clear that the THIRD level is only accessable by lifting the plaid on the first and on the second level of one’s personality.

The man we’re talking about has had a serious problem with himself and with his image. The man he was, the husband he was (not), the woman he courteously loved – all of that was wrong. It WAS not he. It was – – – a FAKE.

Andreas Lubitz felt he had to become gay. All he knew was: I love MEN. It is a lie and not MY person that builds a house, that builds a marriage, that builds a career.

We germans are not ALLOWED to talk about such things. We germans are teached by ALL and every instance that being GAY is a blessing. Being GAY and coming out is just the highlight of one’s life!! I have experienced the holiness in being gay as a scholar in my kindergarten-teacher school. We had a gay person there that came over us like a missionary, preaching the gospel of GAY families. She sat down at the teachers table and preached about how much better the parenthood becomes if two women are father and mother. NICE!

Hooray for GAY???

Not really. Not seriously. Not in reality. Coming out as a GAY person is nothing else but the SUPER GAU. It is the loss of every future perspective. It is the end of life as a “normal person”. The inner conflicts, the shame, the shame and the shame again are disturbing, if not destroying one’s mental health. Period.

Andreas Lubitz was unable to communicate about his inner conflicts. Nobody would have helped him – for giving HELP to the holy GAY people is not acceptable in Germany. Everybody who even articulates that being gay is like pain in the ass (sic!) will face the ultimate SHIT-storm. So, nobody is able to help gay people. They’re up to mental diseases and suicide pressure more and more.

And now? If you ask ME, recognizing one’s gay tendencies is the ultimate fail which is very hard to face by a man that tries to become LUFTHANSA Pilot.

airplane germanwings suicide


About Wisdom / Über die Weisheit

First the beloved english language for the readers from overseas:

Wisdom is inviting to her meal

1 Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars:
2 She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table.
3 She hath sent forth her maidens: she crieth upon the highest places of the city,
4 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,
5 Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mingled.
6 Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.
7 He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.
8 Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.
9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
11 For by me thy days shall be multiplied, and the years of thy life shall be increased.
12 If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
13 A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
14 For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,
15 To call passengers who go right on their ways:
16 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,
17 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
18 But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.

Second the german version für meine deutschen Leser:

Weisheit und Torheit laden zum Mahle

1 Die Weisheit hat ihr Haus gebaut und ihre sieben Säulen behauen.
2 Sie hat ihr Vieh geschlachtet, ihren Wein gemischt und ihren Tisch bereitet 3 und sandte ihre Mägde aus, zu rufen oben auf den Höhen der Stadt:
4 »Wer noch unverständig ist, der kehre hier ein!«, und zum Toren spricht sie:
5 »Kommt, esst von meinem Brot und trinkt von dem Wein, den ich gemischt habe!
6 Verlasst die Torheit, so werdet ihr leben, und geht auf dem Wege der Klugheit.«
7 Wer den Spötter belehrt, der trägt Schande davon, und wer den Gottlosen zurechtweist, holt sich Schmach.
8 Rüge nicht den Spötter, dass er dich nicht hasse; rüge den Weisen, der wird dich lieben.
9 Gib dem Weisen, so wird er noch weiser werden; lehre den Gerechten, so wird er in der Lehre zunehmen.
10 Der Weisheit Anfang ist die Furcht des HERRN, und den Heiligen erkennen, das ist Verstand.
11 Denn durch mich werden deine Tage viel werden und die Jahre deines Lebens sich mehren.
12 Bist du weise, so bist du’s dir zugut; bist du ein Spötter, so musst du’s allein tragen.
13 Frau Torheit ist ein unbändiges Weib, verführerisch, und weiß nichts von Scham.
14 Sie sitzt vor der Tür ihres Hauses auf einem Thron auf den Höhen der Stadt,
15 einzuladen alle, die vorübergehen und richtig auf ihrem Wege wandeln:
16 »Wer noch unverständig ist, der kehre hier ein!«, und zum Toren spricht sie:
17 »Gestohlenes Wasser ist süß, und heimliches Brot schmeckt fein.«
18 Er weiß aber nicht, dass dort nur die Schatten wohnen, dass ihre Gäste in der Tiefe des Todes hausen.

(Some foolish sentences following here. Go on with it on your own risk!)

Excuse me for taking the risk of going rogue here. *smile*

First I recognized that the german translation is not correct at one point. While the english version says “2 She hath killed her beasts…” the german version reads “she has slaughtered her cattle” which is totally lush compared to the english version. Only by intuition I would prefer the english version because “to kill one’s beasts” speaks about the spiritual beasts like wrath, fear of men, laziness, and many more (you name it).

Second I was aware immediately that I do experience the exact and entire effect in my strive to teach people. Not that I am the promenading, the commuting wisdom by myself! But there’s a slight amount of insight every here and there which is requested by some people. On the one hand there are people ready for listening, and well prepared to understand. There is a preparation of a supernatural kind in that these people always confirm what I say or, somehow more crazy, take the words out of my mouth.

It is just a joyful and cheering experience to have this kind of listener around. It brings us up emotionally and rationally.

On the other hand there are these people just unready to hear, unready to understand, unwillig to even accept me as a speaker of wisdom. It is a non-rewarding process, it is in fact “pain in the a**” to try to teach them anything. They’re getting hard like stone, they’re getting angry, more angry when not aggressive at all. You have the feeling of fooling yourself while speaking against a wall.

Not the kind of experience you need to have….*seufz*

So there’s an urgent NEED to know BEFORE who is READY and well prepared by the spirit to receive a message. This is a matter of differentiation which has to be learned by heart. After the tenth fail one is going to inquire WHAT the characteristic things about the “chosen” people are. And one will realize that the decision is easyliy made by the rejecting habitus of the bad guys and by the receiving habitus of the good guys. Finally there’s a very intensive and impressive attribute of those having been able to listen and to understand: they will say “thank you” by no reason but their thankfulness.

GREAT experience, really.

The Innermost Decisions

Here I am with the spiritual outcome of a wonderful if not AWESOME easter sunday.

Instead of attending the sunday service of local lutheran church I decided to take a walk along the most beautiful landscape I am able to reach by car. This landscape is for me like a little paradise, in a way of a pre-valent heaven.

I always appreciated GODs nature and creation. A day like last sunday is a perfect creation of wholesome holiness, with a magical mysterically power of healing. It starts with the blurring sunbeams, moves on to the trees full of opening buds and doesn’t end with the smell of an arousing, fertile and wettish soil.

There’s music in the air. There’s wind in my hair. There’s a deerstand everywhere.

I felt the urge to take 267 photos of all of the beauty but realized that this could NOT be useful. Taking photos immediately distracts you from the genuine access to the pure nature and to the spirit of the morning.

Taking photos is kind of counter-productive for a spiritual experience.

Nevertheless I could not longer withstand this urgent drive when I met with this beautiful ponds between the woodlands and the meadows….it’s only natural.

I am extremely “pond-fond” or better pointed out: “fond of ponds” – a feature I was simply born with. According to that I like everything that swims, everything that dives, and everything that flows. I used to build great and large dam-projects, finally leading one ore another little creek into a very new streambed. (I use to return to the places of my childhood to check for the state of wellfare of my childhood projects! And yes – my dams stand their ground, no matter what! *yee-haw*)

Enough words for the moment, let us now come to the interesting thing here: the pictures. I invested more than dirty shoes but even dirty trousers and hands to manage taking these. Have fun – enjoy!

[There are captions added to each and every photo but be aware that this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something informative in it. Take it nice and easy.]

this is a structure without structure

This is a structure without structure…

there are mystical secrets inscripted into the tree

Mystical secrets inscripted here…

my hand heals the tree with supernatural healing power

Elton John was aware of his healing hands – me tooo….

church in gothic style

We germans DO have a need for a “church inside the church” – really!

wooden pole under water

Time will tell us the truth no matter what about….

wooden pole penetrating the earth

You may feel like there’s an “upside-down”-feature but NO: this pole came out of heaven right in front of my camera….

the surface of heaven is a rippled one
The surface of heaven is a rippled one
the german landscape is more than beautiful
The german landscape is more than beautiful

Thank you for attending this nature-bounded divine service with me. Do me a favour and spread the word on your blog.Thanks in advance.

What Is Easter?

Easter is all about father and son.

Easter is also about a lamb and its slaughterer. It’s about blood. It’s about a FATHER who is going to slaughter his only son. It’ s about Abraham who was FORCED to give his sons life as a sacrifice, slaughtered by his OWN hand. Just taking the live of one’s own, beloved son?!


Forced by GOD to slaughter one’s own son?? Really?!

And the son? Did he KNOW his father was going to slaughter not a widder, but him? Did he feel the tension betweeen his father and —- GOD? Did he feel the fear that was underneath the mask on his fathers face?! Did he see what was coming? Why didn’t he run AWAY?! WHO is able to sacrifice himself to be slaughtered by the hands of his OWN father??

YES, easter is a story about the father and the son.

On The Rise

Once ago we all were little boys, little girls. We all were innocent, pure, beloved children. We all were free, full of trust, full of hope and full of life’s power.

In our drive to strive, in our wishes and dreams we were able and ready to conquer our world. Now, after a bunch of years, a bunch of roses and a bunch of thorns, we look back in anger.

We are tall men, we are lovely, nice, and beautiful women. But where has the life-power gone?? Where is the rest auf our idealistic drive to conquer the world? Our idealistic drive to CHANGE the world?

It has gone.

It is lost to translation. Lost IN transformation. A Transformation into a forced profession, or shall we say “occupation”?! This occupation occupies our life, disassociates us from our inner child, which was whole, unscathed, safe and sound. This occupation fills our bank account and empties our hearts. It takes away all the most needed time for recreation, relaxation, and for spiritual health!!!!!!!!

No longer available are safety, healthiness, idealism, purity and hope. Replaced instead with disappointments, hurts, losses, defeats and sickness. That’s the way life goes.

I have to present you with some Pics of a wonderful boy, who is a wholesome, loevely, energy-driven little “man” rocking his small world with great power. His name (the name always MATTERS!) is Levi – a speaking name taken out of the bible.

Song of the day:

“High High High” by Sandra and Michael Cretu

H A P P Y E A S T E R D A Y S T O E V E R Y O N E .

boy giving a hand

trainer and sports boy

climbing a tree


Mein Nachbar sagt, daß es früher viel mehr Singvögel gab. Er muß es wissen, denn er ist ein Vogelnarr. Ich dagegen bin keiner, ich kann bei diesem Gegenstand objektiver denken. Ich habe nicht das Gefühl, die Vögel wären verschwunden. MEINE Vögel sind ALLE noch da: die Amsel, die Drossel, der Fink und der Star. Und auch der Spatz.

Daß sie nicht direkt zu DEN 5 Quadratmetern kommen, wo der 80jährige Nachbar mittlerweile seinen Aktionsradius hat, das kann er nicht so recht akzeptieren. ER ist doch der Vogelnarr, also…??

Vielleicht möchte er gar nicht merken, daß sein Aktionsradius rapide kleiner wird?

Daß früher alles besser war, ist eine anthropologische Konstante. Wenn zu allen Zeiten die Menschen dieser Meinung waren, dann muß da doch wohl etwas dran sein?!

[Hier im Erzgebirge leben sehr konservative Menschen, die zuerst ihre Traditionen, dann ihre Mundart, danach auch ihre Lieder und ihren Glauben, in die Zukunft transportieren möchten. Darum ist das folgende Lied für Nicht-Erzgebirgler etwas unverständlich.]

Song des Tages: “Frieher”

by Tobias Markstein #handaufserz

Stimmen Im Wind

Die Schlagerfreunde unter uns werden jetzt direkt an Juliane Werding denken müssen: “Stimmen im Wind, die so zärtlich und so liebevoll sind…sei nicht traurig, Susann – es fängt alles erst an…”
Juliane Werding ist immer eine spirituelle Person gewesen, sie nimmt eine Sonderstellung unter den deutschen Schlagertussis ein – denn SIE ist keine Schlagertussi. Sie ist eine Heilerin. Und sie ist in vorbildlicher Weise konsequent gewesen, als sie nämlich ihre Berufung zur Heilerin erkannte, hängte sie das Singen für Geld an den Nagel. Sie ist jetzt Heilpraktikerin. This is a suitable way for mental health!! So erhält man sich seine psychische Gesundheit! Follow your personal call…

Dieser Text ist die Weiterführung des letzten Beitrages, denn das Thema “Depressionen & psychische Störungen” ist gerade einmal angerissen worden. Ein Anriß erzeugt aber viele Risse, und am Ende zerreißt wohl sogar manche Kette, die unzerreißbar schien. *yee-haaa!*

Wie immer bei einem spektakulären Suizid wurde eine mediale Welle ausgelöst, deren Ausläufer nun überall an die Ufer des Internets schwappen – so auch an diesen Strand hier. Was angespült wurde, sammle ich in ein Körbchen (damit der Strand sauber bleibt!) und stelle es den LeserInnen zur Diskussion.


Mindestens die Hälfte meiner Bekannten hatte schon mal die Diagnose: psychisch krank. Wer nicht depressiv ist, muss blind sein, wer kein Burn-out hat, hat nie für etwas gebrannt.

Bis zum Abitur wurden zwei Mädchen meiner Stufe magersüchtig. Bei Abendessen werden Therapieansätze und Tavor genauso selbstverständlich besprochen wie Töpferkurse. Eher selbstverständlicher, wir töpfern schließlich nicht. Wir sind ja nicht verrückt, sondern jung, schön und erfolgreich. Und eben, wenn das mal nicht läuft, krank.

Zitat des Tages:

Wenn man weiß, wer ‘Der Böse’ ist, hat der Tag Struktur.

(V. Pispers)

Let us start here.

Continue reading